Shades of Silver

A.K.A. Perception is everything

I was looking at the silver in my hair recently and I ruminated a bit on the label “silver fox”. How wonderful to have graduated from “salt and pepper” to “silver”. Salt and pepper really doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?

I found my first grey hair when I was 25 years old. By the time I hit my mid-30’s I’d completely transitioned out of my naturally dark brown hair. I discovered blond highlights for their forgiving nature when my roots would grow out. There were other colors here and there, I never could resist a good rose gold or soft pink. I always returned back to the comfort of blond. Every so often, I’d let my roots grow out enough to assess whether I had enough silver to look, well, cool. I didn’t. I was in salt and pepper limbo for over a decade.

I remember the first time I heard the term “silver fox”. It was about 15 years ago, I was in my early 40’s. It really had an effect on me—it sounded so desirable. I had never heard a woman be called a silver vixen, or silver anything for that matter. Going grey was not preferable personally or socially. I always told myself I’d know when the time was right, if ever.

Fast forward to several years into the pandemic with hair—blond hair—so long that I wore it stacked on top of my head for ease. I started to feel the itch to stop coloring it. I tested the waters by letting my roots grow out and at last I had enough silver. Have you noticed that I’ve referred to my hair as grey when it wasn’t desirable and silver when it was? Silver just sounds so much better. Yet, it’s just a word. Silver hair sounds intentional and glamorous—grey hair was always something that was supposed to be covered up.

I love words. I love how choosing the right word can change our perception. Silver versus grey. Should versus want. The right words can help us reframe how we experience an event or a feeling. Why do some words have positive connotations, yet others that mean the same thing can sound so undesirable? Have you ever experienced a positive shift in your perception just by changing the language around it? As you get to know me better through these posts you’ll come to understand that I’m a veritable Pollyanna. Reframing to get a better perspective and have a more positive experience lessens suffering, and that, my friends, is my jam.

What word or sentence could you change today to have a shift in perception?